Making decisions can be challenging. Every choice shapes our lives and impacts our future. No matter the kind of decision, it’s crucial to make decisions that align with your values.  A life coach often guides clients through the decision-making process. Let’s explore five essential questions to ask yourself when planning a decision.  These questions will help you gain clarity and confidence in your choices.

Are You Being Honest With Yourself About What You Really Want?

The Importance of Self-Honesty

Self-honesty is the foundation of good decision-making. If you aren’t honest with yourself, you won’t understand what the true motivations are behind your decision. Without it, you may make choices that don’t align with your basic desires and values. It is easy for us to deceive ourselves.

How to be Honest with Yourself

• Self-Reflection: Set aside time each day to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Journaling can be a useful tool for this. Ask yourself challenging questions. Why do I want this? What am I afraid of? What am I avoiding? These kinds of questions can help to uncover deeper motivations.
• Seeking Feedback: Ask for honest feedback from trusted friends, family, or mentors who can provide objective perspectives on your behavior and values. But be willing to accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive. This is an opportunity to gain insight into areas where you may lack self-awareness.
• Checking out your Biases: Are confirmation bias, overconfidence, and wishful thinking making you less than honest with why you want to make a specific choice? It is better to seek out information and viewpoints that challenge your assumptions and beliefs.

What Story Do You Want To Tell About Yourself?

Writing Your Personal Narrative

At the end of the day, or at the end of your life, what story do you want known about yourself? Every decision contributes to your life story. Consider how your choice will fit into the narrative you want to create. This perspective can guide you toward decisions that align with your long-term goals and values. A life coach can provide insights, as well.

Visualizing Your Future

Think about where you want to be in five or ten years – or at the end of your life. Will this decision help you get there? If your choice is going to mar that long term vision of yourself – reconsider it. Imagine looking back on this moment. Will you be proud of the choice you made? Is it how you want to be remembered?

The Impact on Your Legacy

What is a legacy? Simply, it is something that is passed on, but it can take many forms. Of course, it can be monetary, but it can also be your faith, ethics and core values. A legacy can come from your character, reputation and the life that you lead. It can set an example for others to follow to guide their future. Your decisions shape how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself. Consider the legacy you want to leave. Make choices that reflect the person you aspire to be.

Trusting Your Intuition

Your gut feeling can be a powerful guide. If you sense hesitation, it’s important to explore why. Your intuition often picks up on subtle cues that your conscious mind might miss.

Knowing the Difference between Fear and Intuition

It’s crucial to distinguish between fear and intuition because both can influence decision making. Fear is understood by your body and shows itself as the fight/flight/freeze response. It is designed to protect us from harm. On the other hand, intuition is subtle. It is an inner knowing that guides you forward without a logical explanation. Fear is associated with feelings of anxiety, worry and panic. Is your decision promoting those feelings? Or do you have an inner sense of knowing the direction you want to go – that’s intuition.

What is the wise choice to make?

Defining Wisdom in Decision-Making

Wisdom involves making choices that are thoughtful, informed, and aligned with your values. It requires considering both short-term and long-term consequences. Biblical wisdom asks us to consider more than our values. Does your choice adhere to Biblical principles? God’s Word should guide your decisions. Does your choice demonstrate moral integrity – honesty, justice, love, mercy?

Gathering Information

It is important to research and gather all necessary information before deciding. Wise, biblical decision making includes seeking the counsel and input of spiritually mature men and women. Beyond the counsel of wise individuals, the collective wisdom of the faith community can provide valuable insight and guidance.

Is Your Choice Protecting Relationships?

The Role of Relationships in Decision-Making

It is rare that our decisions do not impact others. It’s important to consider how your choices affect your relationships whether they are personal or professional. Wise decisions consider the value of building strong relationships and increasing collaboration and cooperation.

Jeopardizing a Relationship

A decision which will put a healthy relationship at risk of serious harm or ending it requires reconsideration. In effect, that kind of decision is undermining trust, respect and emotional safety. These kinds of choices can create deep wounds and erode the foundation of a relationship.

Is Your Choice Rooted in Selfishness?

It is important to question your self interest when you are making a wise decision. Are you primarily acting out of self- interest without considering the feelings and needs of others – both personal and professional. Does your choice make anyone feel undervalued?

Is Your Choice Challenging or Changing a Relationship? That could be good!

Challenging a relationship involves addressing issues, encouraging growth and adjusting to improve the relationship. It can be a positive and constructive process with the aim of strengthening the bond. Decisions can be hard on relationships but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is a problem. If your decision can lead to improved communication and stronger emotional connections or increased respect, you are making a choice that is protecting your relationships.

Does Your Choice Demonstrate the Fruit of the Spirit?

Using the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) as a barometer for wise decisions is the guide for living a life that is in alignment with Christian values. The Fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These qualities can serve as indicators of whether a decision is wise and godly.

Applying the Fruit in Decision Making

Reflect on whether your choices demonstrate these qualities:

• Love: Selflessness and compassion
• Joy: Inner peace and true happiness
• Peace: Harmony and conflict resolution
• Patience: Endurance and thoughtful consideration
• Kindness: Gentleness and support
• Goodness: Moral integrity and positive impact
• Faithfulness: Loyalty and trustworthiness
• Gentleness: Respect and sensitivity
• Self-Control: Discipline and balance

Using the Fruit of the Spirit as a guidepost doesn’t mean that decisions won’t be uncomfortable, difficult or create some anxiety. But it does mean that your decision reflects your core beliefs and values. Decisions that are made within your core beliefs demonstrate personal integrity and authenticity.

A Life Coach Can Guide Wise Decision Making

Decision-making is a complex process, but asking the right questions can simplify it. Being honest with yourself, considering your personal narrative and knowing your core beliefs are the first part of making a wise decision. Trusting your gut and protecting key relationships as you make choices can lead to long-term well-being and sustained happiness. But sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Working with a wise life coach who can guide you through these considerations can significantly enhance your decision-making process. By working with a life coach, you can make more informed, confident, and effective decisions that align with your values and aspirations.