Grief counseling is a great way to process the overwhelming emotions of grief. One way to work through your grief is the practice of lament. Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you that I love a pity party. When life knocks me down, I like to take a few minutes, hours, days (depending on the severity) to express my displeasure and wallow. It turns out that my “pity party” is the biblical practice of lament. Lament is a prayer expressing sorrow, pain or confusion and is a way to process grief and pain in God’s presence.
“Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty. Complaint is the bitter howl of unbelief in any benevolent God in this moment, a distrust in the love-beat of the Father’s heart.” – Ann Voskamp
Benefits of Lament
I think the world encourages us to “look on the bright side”, and “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” and always be a “glass half full” type of person. But let’s face it – we live in a broken world. We experience sadness, sickness, loss, and lots of other hard stuff.
What are we supposed to do with all of this? Take it to the Lord. And how do we do this? Lament. Almost one-third of Psalms and the entire book of Lamentations center around lament. God wants to hear about our pain.
Lament is not about grumbling or complaining. It is about bringing our complaints to God but emerging from that experience with HOPE. God uses this process to help form us into His image. God uses the hard stuff in our lives, and we shouldn’t waste those experiences. Here are some things that happen when you lament.
- We learn to trust God – the more we trust God with our sadness, the more likely we are to trust Him with everything else.
- We understand more about God’s grace. When we cry out to God and He meets us and helps us, we see that His faithfulness is not based on our behavior or our love for Him.
- We become better at helping others with their grief. When we acknowledge our own sadness, we naturally see other people’s sadness too. We will be more likely to be kind and loving to others who experience the brokenness of the world.
How to Lament
According to “open the bible” there are four ingredients that show up in most biblical laments. First is turning to the Lord. Don’t ignore or deny your grief but turn to the Lord in your sorrow. Second, bringing your complaints. We might think it is disrespectful lament to God. But read some Psalms and you will see; we are encouraged to bring our sorrows to the Lord. Third is to Ask Boldly. Because of Jesus, we have confidence that we can pray boldly before His throne (Hebrews 4:16). And finally, Choose to Trust. After we complain and ask God to intervene, we turn to hope. God keeps His promises, and we can trust Him (Psalm 31:14)
The best way to learn how to lament is to read the Psalms or the book of lamentations. Pray those lament for yourself. Write out your own laments and pray those to God – it really doesn’t matter how you do it. The great thing is, God hears and responds to our cries of sorrow.
Conclusion
Our hope is that one day we will no longer need to lament. There will be no more mourning. God will wipe away every tear. Godly lament will produce hope. The next time you are faced with the hard stuff – have a little pity party and share your pain with God – He is waiting for you to trust Him with your sadness.
If you are feeling stuck in your grief. Get some grief counseling. A support group or counselor can help you process the difficult emotions. Grief counseling helps you feel less isolated and overwhelmed. We offer a grief support group and grief coaching. Reach out today.
